Travels and Trials
by Rina Rose
Summary: Snape finds unexpected family members - and happiness with a Cullen. Pairings slightly diff than the original ones. Enjoy the ride!
1. Gifts and Odd Places

Gifts and Odd Places

_Opening quote_

_A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.__  
__Henri B. Stendhal_

The only gift he could give her for her wedding was his silence. She would never know how much he had loved her through all these years and how much heartache she was causing him by marrying that ostentatious fool of an Auror. She deserved so much better than that – even though he doubted that he qualified either, even in his own opinion. 

Eileen Prince had met Tobias Snape during a Witches conference she had been supposed to attend. As the first day was dedicated to administrative details, she soon became bored and decided it was much more in the interest of furthering her education if she strolled through London and saw both Magical and Muggle sights. After enjoying a cup of coffee in a small Leicester Square café, she walked swiftly back the way she had come. Thinking of all the things she had to tell her friends, she turned a corner and unexpectedly found herself tripping over small boxes flying everywhere on the sidewalk, not to mention the jewelry spilling from them in brilliant splashes of rainbow colored reflections of the watery sunlight she'd been so happy about a minute ago. Appalled, she froze in midstep and waited til all the clattering and tinkling had died down. She was shocked that she could have conceivably caused this mayhem, feeling wrapped in a bubble of silence suddenly. As she slowly took stock of her surroundings, she realised she was not the only one taken aback. The young man she'd run into in her haste had the same incredulous look on his face hers must show as well. Before he had time to start shouting at her, she gave the wand underneath her clothes a quick flick and while she stumbled over words of apology most of the boxes and jewels were reunited and sat around them in haphazard stacks. When they had both finished their awkward apologies and she'd helped him put the boxes back on the tray he'd used to carry them, a certain camaraderie had been established and they'd agreed to walk by the Thames the following evening after supper. Eileen's heart fluttered as she thought of Tobias' American accent and the fresh impressions she could glean from him. She felt very naïve and uncertain as she'd never travelled much, having spent all of her growing up years either in Hogwarts or with her family in Manchester.

In time they would date more often, despite the distance – he was working in London as a jewellers assistant (even though the dropped boxes had contained only fake jewelry. Lucky coincidence) and she still lived with her parents and siblings in Manchester. Eventually Eileen told Tobias she was a witch and he took it in stride after the first incredulity and then astonishment as she proved her assertion. Her parents did not approve. After all, she came from a pureblood family and marrying a Muggle had not been in their plan for her. But her brothers liked Tobias and accepted him with no strings attached. It saddened Eileen that both their parents would miss her wedding – her parents had stubbornly refused to attend and Tobias was estranged from his parents in the US anyway. But her brothers and all her and Tobias' friends had saved the day, creating a sweet memory she treasured until her last breath. They rented a small flat in London and for a time they were sincerely happy. Eileen had started working in a small shop on Diagon Alley and Tobias succeeded in becoming the Jeweller's partner after a couple of years. And then, very unexpectedly, she had missed her always puncutal period. After a quick spell to check, she was sure she was pregnant and for the whole day before she told Tobias, she felt wrapped in a cocoon of utter happiness.

That night turned into the first of their subsequent continuous fights. Of course she'd have to stop working when the baby came and Tobias was furious when she refused to get an abortion, insisting that right now they could not afford to lose her income. But Eileen simply went about her daily routine, avoiding him when she could and hoped he would see reason in time. She couldn't ask her parents to support them a little and her brothers were still studying themselves and would not be able to help. As the baby grew inside her and she finally felt the first fluttering butterfly nudges, this was the only thing that kept her going. Tobias refused to touch her anymore and their conversations consisted of "Pass the salt, please." and similar short exchanges that left her frustrated, lonely and angry as hell. Often enough her emotions would get the better of her and their screaming matches made it impossible to have a normal relationship any longer. More and more Tobias spent the evenings (and sometimes nights) elsewhere. When she was alone, she would gently hold the child growing inside her and tell him she would always love him.

After long painful labor that she spent completely alone, Eileen gave birth to a small baby boy with a shock of black hair that made his already light complexion pale further still. Tobias refused to visit her at the hospital and would not help her when she packed up small Severus and made her way home supported only by her youngest brother.

In the months to come, Tobias made her beg for every penny to feed her and his son, and when she tried to get him to hold Severus, he would silently turn away and walk out the door. Except for those occasions when his anger took over and they yelled at each other while the baby screamed at the top of his lungs. None of their neighbors would even look at them anymore, much less talk to either of them and Eileen hated every second of taking Severus out for walks and later to play.

When he turned 2, she found a daycare place for him, as much as it hurt to leave him there 5 days a week, morning to evening, but by then Tobias drank away most of his wages and she needed the money to keep her child and herself alive. Her brothers had both finished their studies, but one of them returned to Wales to work in their parents' vicinity and the other moved to Scotland after he fell for and married a Scottish witch. She was alone with her son most of the time, until one night when Severus was 3 ½, Tobias returned from yet another drunken jaunt and informed her in slurred syllables that he'd had a vasectomy and would now demand his marital rights again. After that first rather violent return to her bed, he abused her repeatedly every other day, leaving her sore and desperate. She came close to throwing in the towel a few times, but as she didn't want to lose her little boy, she stayed and returned to avoiding her husband as much as humanly possible.

By the time Severus was 7, she'd taught him to stay out of his father's way and not expect even a kind word from him. In the following years, she became sickly and her only fights with Tobias were over their son and his future. Shortly before Severus turned 11, Eileen Snape died in her sleep, exhausted beyond her years, leaving a bewildered boy behind whose father decided that that Hogwarts letter was a godsend after all, in spite of his utter and complete disgust with the wizarding world by then. Getting rid of the obnoxious silent child of his counted for more than actually raising his son himself.

Severus Snape's 7 years in Hogwarts were punctuated only by his summer visits to his taciturn grandparents as his father refused to accept him back at his home. The only highlights worth mentioning were the times spent with his uncles during Christmas holidays and the hopes he had as far as Lily Evans was concerned – until James Potter began paying attention to her and succeeded in winning her heart eventually. That's when Severus lost heart. He was still Lily's friend, as far as she permitted that, but the rest of his time he spent learning things and meeting people that fed the dark side of his soul until he felt that he'd crossed the point of no return. To everyone's (except Lily's) surprise he attended the Evans/Potter wedding, keeping in the background and doing his level best to remain invisible. His only spoken words were his congratulations (bitter words, those, nearly suffocating him as he spoke them) to Lily. He gave her a thin silver necklace with a pendant shaped like a Lily that would bloom in the spring and summer – starting on his birthday, but the significance of that only Lily would notice – and turning into the crystal shape of a lily bud for the rest of the year as long as she wore it. Silently he shook James' hand and left, feeling as if his heart were being sliced in two and as if a great burden had been lifted at the same time.

When he walked to the Tube, he made a decision. In the few instants that his father had spoken of his family, he'd only mentioned his parents a few times and where they had lived before he left. Upon entering his flat, he carefully put all his Potions equipment into his trunk, muttered a few spells to put the rest of his possessions into another and brewed one last cup of tea before he left with trunks in tow. At "Witches and Wizards abroad" he rented a cubbyhole for a year. He was sure that after 12 months, he'd know where he would continue his so far not very satisfactory existence and if not, he could still extend the contract. WWA had had an ingenious idea as to making use of magic and space. They'd enchanted a wall of cubbyholes to contain shrunken possessions that were of no current use to their owners. At low cost they could be rented and it only took one spell to shrink everyone's property to the same size. Miss Ollivander handed over the return key to Severus, explaining to him that as soon as he touched it, it would (painlessly) implant itself into the web between his thumb and first finger so he couldn't possibly lose it. Upon death or disability of its owner it would detach and apparate to the next of kin the owner had had to name in the contract. She also explained how to change said next of kin with a simple spell. He left with only a small black leather bag and apparated to a dark parking lot next to Heathrow airport.

As he boarded the plane early the next morning, he realised it was unlikely he'd ever see Lily again, but then he'd made up his mind and was on his way to a new life, all his own. Maybe he'd be able to ignore that dark side of himself there and forget what he'd left behind. As soon as they were over the sea, his arm suddenly burned and in panic he nearly ran to the bathroom to lock himself in. He shoved the sleeve up, his heart beating in his throat, only remembering now the Dark Mark there and what it would mean if he left the Dark Lord's reach. But the pain had gone – and so had the Mark that had dominated his nocturnal thoughts with all its implications, ever since he'd received it. He was unsure of whether to laugh or cry and returned to his seat in a turmoil of emotions. Soon the strain he'd been under took its toll and he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep until the stewardess woke him for the descent to JFK, NYC, USA.


	2. New Beginnings

New Beginnings

_Opening quote_

_Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.__  
__Buddha_

_I'm fit to sleep for a week_, Severus thought as he got off yet another plane, the last one this time. It had brought him all the way to Port Angeles, WA. Slowly he made his way past the baggage claim and wandered out of the airport, still only carrying his black leather bag. It went perfectly with his still sharply creased pants (enchanted not to wrinkle, of course), his equally smooth shirt and the long black coat that made him miss his robes. With a sinking feeling he remembered he would not be able to wear robes to work either, and that he had yet to actually find a job over here.

He'd located his grandmother who still lived in the same house that his grandfather had built for his very young bride before they'd got married. Irene Black had been a teenager when she'd married Henry Snapper – yes, Tobias had wanted to distance himself to the extent that he even slightly changed his name – and given birth to their first and only child a few scant months later. What precisely had happened to make Tobias run so far had never been clear to Severus, but he intended to get to the root of the matter once he'd actually met Irene in person.

At the car rental he made sure he'd be able to return the car two weeks later with no extra charges and proceeded to drive to Forks, as La Push where his family lived, apparently had no hotel or B&B and he didn't want to intrude on Irene's privacy just yet. He wasn't even sure if she was aware of his existence. The drive was calming in spite of his fatigue. The landscape reminded him of Ireland somehow, intensely green and fertile. It was late May and he'd expected it to be warmer than in England. The cool temperature pleased him somehow and when gentle rain started pattering his windshield, a quick smile flashed across his serious face.

When he arrived in Forks he drove around until he found the B&B that was located on the other edge of town and lay back from the road behind a small stand of trees. It could have been set in some forest in England just as well, a charming small brick house with a barn across a small clearing. The owner gave him a warm welcome and showed him to his room, offering to give him supper this one night as he'd just arrived after a long journey. He thanked her in acceptance and went to rest.

It was dark when he woke up and he almost stumbled over a covered plate on his doorstep when he went to the bathroom on his floor. The Post-it that Mrs. Caldwell had attached simply said, „Enjoy! If it's cold when you wake, feel free to use the microwave in the kitchen downstairs." Of course he was not about to tramp down to the kitchen now that the whole house was asleep and instead just used his wand and a quick spell to reheat the dish and eat at the desk in front of the window. It had been a venison stew with freshly baked bread and he enjoyed taste and texture a great deal. When he'd finished every last bite he spoke a spell to clean the plate and placed it outside his door once more, then went to turn off the light and watched the forest until he was ready to return to bed and sleep off the jetlag.

The next morning dawned clear and bright and Severus decided to drive to La Push to acquaint himself with the area his unknown family had lived in for generations. He dressed himself in equally unfamiliar clothes: a pair of black jeans, a dark green shirt and a black cable-knit sweater. Irritating, these Muggle things he never thought he'd have to put up with. He took a look in the mirror, threw his hair back and went down to have breakfast. Mrs. Caldwell offered to give him maps of the area but Severus politely declined, telling her he was already well supplied with local maps.

As he got into the car once more and drove towards La Push, his thoughts turned to Lily, wondering what she would be doing now, and if anyone apart from Dumbledore would really miss him back home. He realised that he still considered England and mainly Hogwarts home which made him sigh in exasperation. He paid more attention to the landscape and the healthy green of forest and field took his mind off the past. Instead he began to consider his options in the next half year or so. He knew that there was a highschool in Forks and a school on the reservation but had not checked into conceivably open positions in either school. At this point he could just hope there was a teaching position available or he'd end up washing dishes somewhere. He shuddered at the unpleasant thought of possibly having to dirty his hands if he had to work in public and was unable to use magic.

The drive passed quickly and he decided to drive down to the beach and walk there. He thought it might have a calming effect on him. He parked the car in a convenient spot, only to find himself not at all alone there. Two vans were parked there as well, empty and deserted. The sounds coming from the beach torturing his eardrums reminded him of unruly Hogwarts students and Severus unconsciously adopted his teacher's poker face. At a determined pace he strode down to the water, expecting a bunch of teens up to no good. Instead, two groups of young people were busy showing each other how to surf. Severus bent down to check the temperature of the water and quickly withdrew his fingers, shaking off the cold drops quickly and efficiently. As he walked by the gutsy kids, they fell silent, nodding to him and he returned the taciturn greeting in kind, walking past them as if he was sure of his destination. Soon enough the beach ended in front of a high cliff. His choices were limited – either he could climb the cliff (not bloody likely), swim (just the thought of the temperature made him shiver) or cut back a little and take the roundabout way back through the trees. He wasn't sure if he'd manage to ever find his car again but refused to return the way he came and bring more attention to himself from the surfers.

It was slow going over rocky terrain with unexpected pools of water appearing right in front of his feet, getting his shoes and pants wetter and wetter with every step. Suddenly he found himself on a dirt road that he gratefully followed, guesstimating that the direction would eventually lead him back to where he'd parked. After a few minutes walk, his soppy shoes making sloshing noises every time he set his feet down, he realised this was some sort of driveway leading to a rather lonely house set in a small clearing. The tall trees leaning over it on one side looked as if they were guarding and protecting it from the wiles of the weather, and the other side was dominated by a well-kept vegetable garden framed with flowers. Reluctantly he made up his mind. He'd ask for the way and then return to his warm room at Mrs. Caldwell's B&B, maybe buy new shoes and food on the way. Caught up in his thoughts he never noticed the elderly woman watching him from the edge of the clearing and was startled like a deer in the headlights when she softly asked him if she could help him somehow.

„Oh..er.. yes please," he stuttered, then collected himself and said, „excuse me, Madam, could you tell me how to get back to the beach? I parked my car there to walk along the sea and must have got lost wandering through this lovely forest. If you would point me in the right direction, I will take up no more of your time." „You're not from these parts, are you?" she replied, giving him a thoughtful look. „Actually, I just arrived from Great Britain the other day and had planned to visit some relatives of mine", Severus told her, surprising himself at volunteering so much information in so few words and after such a short time. The jetlag must still be worse than he'd thought to throw him off track so much.

„You have relatives here? Do tell, at my age I know nearly everyone who's lived in this area in the past fifty years or so. I probably either delivered or taught them at one time or another." She smiled and Severus suddenly felt as if someone had opened the window to a sunny day in a dark and dreary room. He raised one eyebrow, looking at her more closely. _Things aren't always what they seem,_ he thought, and this seemingly sweet old lady had a steel edge to her he'd missed at first sight. With new caution he slowly said, „actually I was hoping I could find my paternal grandparents here. My father only spoke of them once and I came here not expecting anyone being able to help me." At his words her complexion paled but her voice never wavered as she said, „Severus? YOU are Severus?" He recoiled as if she'd struck him in the face, stumbling back a few paces, looking for all the world as if he'd prefer nothing more than to take off and run. Both of them stared at each other silently, assessing and appraising one another. Minutes passed, then her voice cut the silence, „I'm Irene Snapper and you may call me Irene for now. Your father Tobias is my son, as little as he wants to admit that. Would you mind catering to an old lady's need for a chair and a cup of tea after this eventful afternoon?" Mutely Severus nodded and followed her into the wooden house with the beautifully carved door.


	3. Interlude

_**Interlude**_

_Opening Quote_

_How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?__  
__Oscar Wilde_

_**Fragility. He'd pondered it countless times. Every single moment he spent with her made him wonder if he would ever manage to be in control of himself one hundred percent of the time. Then he would touch her soft skin, look into her eyes that so clearly showed her love for him and he'd be lost in his need for her. He'd been alone far too long and this one woman, albeit human, fulfilled him somehow.**_

_**Ever so gently he cradled her as she slept next to him. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. „My love, it's time to wake up or you will be late," he whispered. She looked at him with a mixture of emotions flashing across her face. Disappointment that she would have to be apart from him again. Pleasure, both given and taken. Concern about someone finding out about them. And at last, she took a look at the watch on her wrist and panicked.**_

_**When she had dressed, he offered to take her to town the quick way. She swallowed, remembering the last time they'd gone down that road, but the need for secrecy and inconspicuousness prevailed and made her nod her assent. He knelt as she climbed on his back, looking amused and uncomfortable and afraid at the same time. "Ready?", he asked. She held on tightly to his neck and when she said yes, he took off running. She just managed to shut her eyes before everything would blur and make her dizzy and listened to the landscape swish by as he navigated the forest at speeds ´far beyond human steps.**_

_**Hidden by the trees behind her home, he stopped and set her down, making sure she would actually stay on her feet before he let her go. "I love you, Renee," he softly said and kissed her gently. "As I love you, Carlisle," she replied with a sad smile, blowing him a kiss as she walked back to the house she lived in with her husband and daughter.**_


	4. Family traits

Chapter 3

_Opening quote_

_In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.__  
__Albert Schweitzer_

Irene watched Severus from her comfortable armchair by the window as he carefully opened drawers and cupboards to collect all the utensils for making tea. When he had poured the boiling water from the kettle into the teapot, he picked up the tray he had prepared and brought it over to the table. She thought back to the strange bird that had nearly died from exhaustion on her doorstep over 25 years ago. It had held out its leg as a last desperate effort before it collapsed. Gently she had removed the weatherbeaten letter from it and taken care of the owl first. She'd fed it for a week and a half and then, suddenly, it had hooted twice and flown away. She would never know if it had returned. That letter…

_Dear Henry and Irene,_

_as Tobias has never introduced us and I only recently heard (quite by accident) that both of you were alive and well, I've decided to disregard my husband's wishes in this instance. I hope you will not feel I am intruding on your lives._

_My name is Eileen Snape, nee Prince, and I had the feeling that you would both like to know that you're grandparents. Severus was born a week ago. I added a picture to this letter but before you look at it I may have to explain something. It may be hard to believe for you, so far removed from our world here, but your son married a witch. That is the reason you will be able to see me and the baby in the picture move, much as he does at the moment, going from sleep to desperate screams in the blink of an eye._

_Tobias refuses to have anything to do with Severus, sadly, but I hope that will change as the baby grows and can interact more with his father._

_Unfortunately I cannot offer to continue any form of contact at this point. Tobias would only make Severus suffer for it and that I cannot accept. Please know I will do my best to raise your grandson with love and provide everything he may need. I will send you pictures when I can._

_Fond regards  
Eileen_

Irene was curious as to what had happened but concerned that her questions would upset Severus even more.

"So you came here to find Henry and me, Severus. May I ask what has prompted your sudden interest in the family your father avoided like a mouse avoids a cat?", she finally asked. The tea poured steadily into her cup, no emotional response seemed to shake him at this point. His look at her was as steady as his hand as he calmly sat down and answered, "You see, Irene, life is never as you expect. I only realised recently that there was no point in grieving after a life that would never be mine and decided I needed a fresh start. But I am also only too aware that I'm very much a creature of habit and that as much as the school I attended and later taught at had been my home, I would need a home and roots once more to find some semblance of happiness ultimately. I find myself in your presence, quite surprisingly I might add, and for completeness' sake I have to say that I never had any expectations as to what our first meeting would be like." "Well," chuckled Irene, "that is not a concern any longer now, is it?" Severus shrugged, with a slight smile lifting his solemn expression. _Maybe_… he thought. Irene waited for him to go on and when he didn't, she added a spoonful of sugar to her cup and quietly asked what his immdiate plans were. He told her where he was currently staying and that he was looking for a teaching position in Forks or La Push after the summer. He noticed the calculating look that flashed across her face but when she began to tell him about Henry who had passed away 11 years ago he began to wonder if he hadn't just imagined it. Irene managed to distract him from his situation so much that he actually forgot the time and only noticed when she rose to turn on the light. He looked around the cosy room once more, realising how truly austere his own living arrangements had always been. He wondered if they would look any different if he had grown up in a home surrounded by her and Henry's love.

"If you have no objections, Severus, I'll drive you back to your car. In the darkness you'd be hard put to find your way there now", Irene interrupted his thoughts. "That would be much appreciated, thank you.", he quietly replied, saddened suddenly that the visit had already come to an end. "But of course you'll come back tomorrow", she added, "we have so much more to talk about". As she had suspected, his face lit up but immediately the poker face mode she had come to recognise in the course of the afternoon cut in and solemnly he replied, "I couldn't decline now, could I?" and Irene thought she had seen the beginning of a wink. But no, Severus was much too serious for that, wasn't he?!

On their way down the twists and turns of the driveway it was too dark to see the other's face but once they were driving on the road towards La Push once more, Severus watched Irene's face like a hawk. Her smile didn't waver as she told him about the families in the houses they passed and he was surprised when she suddenly said, "Here you go, my dear. I suppose that this lonesome car left in the lot is yours. There's a small diner across from the school here where you can get supper as I doubt that Mrs. Caldwell will have anything ready for you and the supermarket is bound to be closed now as well. Why don't you follow me, I'll show you where it is…" Made speechless by her gentle concern for him, he nodded and got out of the car, only to lean back in to thank her. She left as soon as he'd parked his car in front of the diner and he entered it by himself, finding a quiet table by the window and simply ordering the day's special, lost in thought as he ate.

That night he slept deeply and no dreams of Hogwarts, Lily or Voldemort disturbed his rest. When he woke up, he looked at the clock, amazed he'd managed to sleep past 8 am and turned on his back to stretch. He couldn't remember when he'd last managed to sleep through a night with no dreams that woke him and made it hard or impossible to go back to sleep. Severus showered, dressed and went down to the diningroom for breakfast. He felt hungry. _Must be all that fresh air, _he thought and loaded his plate at the small buffet table Mrs. Caldwell had set out. For the first time since his arrival he noticed he wasn't the only one staying at the small B&B. He passed the other two tables, one occupied by a couple who looked very much in love and the other's table occupants were a small girl and her father. He sat facing the terrace doors, looking out on the forest and thoroughly enjoyed his meal. He returned to his room and made a few notes in his diary, then he began wondering how he would meet Irene again. _She'd_ _said today, hadn't she? Should he just drive out again?_ He looked at his watch – when he'd arrived at the airport on his way to the US, he'd decided he needed one of those Muggle things in order not to miss his flights – and saw it was only 9:26 am. He also realised that he had no idea what Irene's phone number was. _Silly that I know next to nothing about Muggle communication._ Grudgingly he admitted to himself that Mr. Weasley's curiousity actually was to his advantage after all. His respect for Arthur Weasley rose a notch.

"Mr. Snape? There's a call for you. You may use the phone out in the hallway," Mrs. Caldwell called from the kitchen. Severus rose and went to look for the phone. "Severus?" Irene's by now familiar voice inquired, evoking another smile from the usually so solemn Potions teacher. _Good thing my students at Hogwarts can't see me now. I'd be outed as a big softy and that just wouldn't do… _He was even more amused by his thoughts and the cheerfulness in his voice caused Irene to smile too as he greeted her. He agreed to come out to the house for lunch and help Irene with some neglected chores around her house and garden. He was still smiling when he hung up the phone. After figuring out the way to the supermarket and the small electronics store in town, he set off to do some shopping. At the electronics store he bought a cellphone, ignoring the clerk's stymied looks as he had to explain its functions in detail to Severus. Armed with this brandnew communications device he proceeded to the supermarket, buying some basic staples and a few painted flowerpots he thought either Irene could use on her porch or maybe he could, to grow some herbs for… _no, he wouldn't even start thinking about any potions again, not now. _He tried to analyse what had just gone on in his thoughts and shook his head in irritation at being unable to quite reconcile his wizard's instincts with his currently predominantly Muggle life.

Irene had made a traditional family dish from the freshly caught fish Harry Clearwater had brought by earlier. Severus ate heartily, pleasing Irene a great deal. After they'd done the dishes together, they spent the afternoon planting flowers and Severus fixed the barn door with a simple spell that Irene watched with a smile. In bits and pieces he told her about his growing up years, something assuring him she was completely trustworthy and would not judge him for whatever he told her. Irene began to understand the walls Severus had erected around himself and she appreciated his effort at giving her a window for a peek inside. She hoped he would have the chance to heal from the scars his past had left. In good time. She sighed at the thought how much of this her own son had caused.

"Do you want to take a walk while I fix us something to eat or would you prefer a nap?" Irene inquired. "I think I will walk for a bit, Irene. That's always helped when I've been upset. Reliving my childhood has been a tad painful and I need some distance. I'm also grateful that you listened. I'm sure it was no pleasure hearing about your son's life cast in this unpleasant light. Are you sure you want me to return for supper?", Severus asked with a doubting look. Irene walked over to him, putting her hands on his arms gently and said, "I waited for over 20 years to meet you. Do you think I'll just let you go, now that the going is a little tough?" He nodded in acknowledgement and kissed her forehead before he walked out of the clearing.

He paid no attention whatsoever where he walked. For once he allowed his emotions to get the better of him, screaming his anger and pain at the sky when he reached the clifftop looking out over the sea. Suddenly everything got blurry and he almost passed out, feeling as if his whole body was hurtling through space at rocketship speed. When his equilibrium returned he found himself down on all four. The forest smelled intensely of things growing and the sounds he suddenly heard much more clearly told him there were small animals scampering away from him as fast as their small feet carried them. He didn't understand why. When he tried to stand up, his body refused to comply and at last he looked down at himself. Black, still black. Black… _paws??? What on earth? What had happened to him??_ Freaked out, his head whipped around, searching for a wizard who'd transformed him. He had to make an effort to calm himself sufficiently to use his new-found senses and decided he'd be able to smell another human in his vicinity. The only human smell came from the shredded pieces of his clothes surrounding him. Severus attempted to walk. To his surprise his movements were graceful and smooth and soon he was loping back the way he came, constantly trying to figure out how to return to his original shape and how on earth he'd explain any of this to Irene.


	5. Interlude II

_**Interlude Part II**_

_Opening quote_

_Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.__  
__Delmore Schwartz_

_**Carlisle returned Renee's car to her street unobtrusively, leaving her key taped to the inside of the wheel casing. As he made his way home, his thoughts were in turmoil. He couldn't let it go on like this. He was putting Renee at too high a risk for comfort. She deserved stability and an environment without danger being an everyday occurrence.**_

_**When he walked into his house, Esme took his coat and gave him an inquiring look. „She has her doubts, like any human would, Carlisle. Don't blame her for it," she gently admonished him. He returned her look with surprise in it, „No, she doesn't have any doubts, little sister, but I do. Whatever I do, she'll face the risk. The risk of the Volturi finding out about her. The risk of Charlie finding out about us. The risk of losing her little girl. Bella is only 10, she doesn't deserve having her life ripped apart… What to do, what on earth am I to do without destroying everything for her. I've waited centuries to feel what I feel for her and now I can't act upon it. Did it have to be a human who managed to touch my heart?" Esme quietly embraced him, then sat down at the piano and played his favourite songs. She knew the calming effect her music could have on him if he let it.**_

_**Esme watched as he sat on the couch and closed his eyes. An hour later she let the music fade out. She knew he would be lost in thought for some time to come still and went upstairs to check on the others. Edward was in his room, lost in a composer's frenzy, playing scores time and again with a wireless headset hooked up to his keyboard that allowed the rest of the family to live in relative peace while he lived out his artistic talent. Esme watched him for a moment and smiled at her gifted nephew. In the next room, Alice's high voice had Jasper mesmerised. The two of them were discussing the next prom's topic and Alice was on the verge of convincing Jasper to help her do a casino theme. She quickly walked by without interrupting them, past Emmett and Rosalie's closed door. They had asked them all to leave them alone while they got used to being mates. Esme went on to her office and booted up her computer to finish some work for the Newton shop. The deadline was still weeks away and she wouldn't turn in her finished work until then, but she could do it now and have spare time until then. Otherwise she would face the same problem she had when she'd started working as a freelance accountant. She'd been too fast, had done her job too perfectly and people had started noticing. She'd had to make sure she appeared more clumsy and less perfect than she was. But she made sure that the IRS would have nothing on any of her customers. They appreciated it too and showed it by recommending her to others. It hadn't taken long until a human accountant would have been out of his depth. Sometimes it was a definite advantage not to have to sleep.**_

_**Renee finished pouring the canned tomatoes on top of the slightly burned ground beef and called Bella while she stirred the sauce. Bella's steps clattered down the stairs and Renee hoped she wouldn't miss a step again and have more bruises from falling down the stairs. Bella quickly went to the stove and asked, „Mom, did you add garlic?" and reached for the container in the fridge when Renee shook her head. She added oregano, basil and rosemary as well, tasted it and threw in a pinch of salt and pepper each. After she'd stirred it again, she tasted a spoonful, then passed the spoon to her mother who'd silently watched. „MUCH better, Bella. How did you come up with this?! Not like I could teach you to cook, and your father even less." „Mom, I have my sources. Jake's mom is a wiz in the kitchen. I tend to spend the time with her and Jake when Dad takes me „fishing". It bores me to tears, but I don't want to hurt him by not going so I chicken out of it there and we still have the drives back and forth for father/daughter times." Bella smiled at her astonished mother and started setting the table.**_


	6. Truth and Trust

Truth and trust

_Opening quote_

_Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.__  
__Arnold Bennett_

Irene was sitting on her porch in the shade with a glass of freshly made lemonade when she noticed the black panther slinking around the edge of the clearing. Carefully she stood up and very, very slowly inched towards the door. Once inside, she closed and locked it, immediately reaching for the shotgun over the fireplace. Her heart was beating so fast she imagined it must be audible all the way to Timbuktu… well, at least all the way to Forks. She stood next to a window, peeking outside to see what the big predator was up to. She knew that panthers would only seek out human dwellings if their own food sources ran out. Since she had no livestock, and not even chickens, SHE was the only available red meat and she'd be damned if she let the cat get the better of her. To her surprise, the panther was right in front of the porch, and as she watched, it lay down and rolled over on its back and put its feet up in the air, looking towards the house with an almost begging expression. Irene decided that this was possibly worth exploring and if all else failed, she still had a loaded gun after all and knew how to use it.

She opened the door a little, waiting for the black cat's reaction. It didn't move an inch. She let the door swing open. Not a muscle moved. She raised the gun and walked out on the porch. The panther turned its head towards her in a slow, calculated move. That's when she dropped the gun and ran to his side, dropping to her knees and hugging the huge head. "I suppose I have more explaining to do than I anticipated," she sighed.

_Irene had guts, he had to grant her that. Would he have returned outside to figure out what a black panther was doing on his doorstep, or called animal control instead? _Severus wondered while his grandmother tried to come up with a way of explaining to him how to phase back. Finally she decided she might as well tell him what it all meant. He could always ask questions later and this way she wouldn't be interrupted. She smiled ruefully. After all this time she had become used to the silence that surrounded her most of the time. Having a grandson who actually needed her would take some adapting.

Irene began by telling him of her childhood and family. The Blacks had lived in La Push for generations and their Quileute heritage was undiluted through time. Part of it was also the protection from wandering vampires – some of them carried a gene that would enable them to shapeshift to be able to protect the tribe. Usually, the form they took were large wolves. Apparently his wizard side had made a slight course correction and changed the shape he'd transformed to. She assumed that in his already emotionally charged state he'd accidentally wandered onto Cullen land, the resident vampire family that came and went every few decades. They had to, or people would being wondering why they didn't age or die, and they would return, posing as distant relations of themselves. Only the Quileute knew the secret, as the Cullens knew theirs and would keep it forever while their treaty lasted. _More explaining to the cold ones, _she thought, with wry amusement at their supposed reactions to Severus' shape. Even though the Cullens were not a threat, in all likelihood at least, of course Severus' predisposition to guard the tribe had caused him to go into protective mode and shapeshift. He had been listening attentively, but his mind was going a hundred miles a minute. _Vampires? Werewolves? What on earth have I let myself in for?!_ Irene finally told him that most of these changes happened during puberty, normally, but of course he had not lived here then and had not been affected. She promised to introduce him to Billy Black later who could explain a great deal more in detail. Then she tried to put into plain words how he would have to concentrate and focus on his original shape and that there was no threat in the immediate vicinity, and both would allow him to phase back. While Severus attempted to get his confusion under control, Irene went inside and retrieved a bathrobe from the box of Henry's things she had chosen to keep after giving the rest to Goodwill. She handed it to Severus and went back inside to finish supper preparations, and to give him some privacy in this rather awkward situation.

_Lucky for me that I left my wand at the house before I walked off – how dangerous could a forest inhabited by wild animals be, after all?! _he thought and shook his head, thinking of wolves and vampires and the things he thought he knew about them. Then he took a deep breath and focussed, the blur and dizzy feeling telling him something was happening. He found himself standing, slightly off balance and quickly wrapped himself in the robe. He realised he was ravenous and went inside to see if he could help Irene with supper. While they ate, she explained to him that the Cullens were not considered a threat because they'd chosen not to prey on humans, feeding off animals. She told him that he could always recognise vampires by their eyes. Red, for those that fed on human victims, or amber, for the "vegetarian" kind. She said that Dr. Cullen had once let her in on this family joke they had when he was treating her at the hospital. "He works as a doctor, constantly in the vicinity of blood?" Severus asked incredulously and Irene nodded. "So you can see why most of us do not think we have to worry about them. We only worry about the nomad vampires who cross our land and take what they can get away with. Between the wolves and the Cullens, we haven't had problems for at least thirty years now though. The Cullen family doesn't like intruders either."

They continued their conversation over doing the dishes. Irene washed, Severus dried and soon enough they were sitting on the porch again. "I made some calls yesterday," Irene announced into the quiet that had settled over them. "I spoke to the principal of Forks high. She was one of my students when I still taught and went on to become a teacher herself eventually. She said the only position that would be available this fall would be that of the chemistry teacher as the current one is going on maternity leave and won't be back until the next schoolyear at the earliest. Is that something that would suit you, Severus?" Now that he'd returned to some semblance of sanity after a good meal, Severus managed to answer with dignity, that yes of course that was a subject he could teach. After all, he had been Potions Master at Hogwarts. _Granted, not for an extended period of time, but still. You didn't become Potions Master without Dumbledore's approval and that really said it all. Well, in the wizarding world it did. He would have to contact Dumbledore for references that could actually be listed in a human CV, _he thought and smiled, knowing that part would be a cakewalk. Actually teaching teenagers again made him groan inside. But, definitely better than doing dishes at the diner. "Now, Alicia also asked where you would be living, seeing you plan to stay here for a while. I told her that for the moment you would be staying at this address. I know that was presumptuous, but I have an empty apartment upstairs that should have been your father's originally. After he left, I could never bear to let it, so it's been empty all these years and until you find a place of your own you're free to use it. I won't charge rent, unless you insist, but I would ask that you contribute a little time to help this old lady as my eyesight isn't improving exactly and driving is becoming a chore." Irene took a deep breath and added, "So, enough food for thought. I will take you back now, you need your own space to do your thinking and clothes.. maybe?" She laughed and even Severus chuckled at his predicament. He collected his wand from the livingroom where he had left it hours before and got into Irene's car. They were silent on the way to the B&B but it wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, rather the hush that follows a storm. To her amazement, he hugged her when they said good night, and asked for her phone number so he could call her the next day. As she returned to her home in the forest, she wondered if she could dare to hope he would move into Tobias' apartment, and how the changes this would bring, would affect both their lives.


	7. Summer School

Summer School

_Opening quote_

_Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.__  
__Daniel J. Boorstin_

Severus quietly stood in the corner of his new livingroom and, with raised eyebrow, watched Jacob Black manoeuver a box much higher than himself towards the couch. What Jacob couldn't see from behind this particular box was the other box sitting smack dab in the middle of his chosen path. Severus silently watched, knowing nothing fragile was contained in either box. Jake kept walking, and then he encountered the obstacle and the box, including the boy, went flying. He landed on his feet, to Severus' amazement and shot the silent observer a look of contempt. _It wouldn't be that simple to trip him up, _the adult thought. The boy ran past him again with a smirk.

It hadn't taken long to transport Severus' things to the place he was about to call home from now on. It had helped that he'd enchanted his trunk to hold all his belongings in shrunken form and could retrieve them with a simple spell. Of course he'd done this alone, knowing full well that it would cause questions, but knowing also that he'd find a way to handle them. He now had a bedroom with a skylight that allowed him to watch the very different sky above La Push and let his mind wander. The rest of his apartment consisted of a small but efficient bathroom with a toilet and a shower, a kitchenette, a living-/diningroom area and a small room he'd chosen to use as his office. He'd bought a carved desk from one of the small shops on the reservation. Irene's brilliant smile when she saw him locomote it up the stairs had been truly worth it.

That's how the summer began. Severus didn't get much time to rest. Billy Black took him under his wing soon enough and while that had the benefits of Nora Black's cooking, it also made him aware of how much responsibility his place in the tribe carried. Billy was ruthless in his training of Severus' ability to "phase", as he called the shapeshifting, and there were days when he literally couldn't make heads or tails of anything.

One of those evenings he sat down to eat with the Blacks and Irene. Nora had brought the kids and cooked at his grandmother's place.

Jacob and Dale were busy running through the clearing, and Nora looked relieved to have all that noise and energy OUT of the house for a while. Little Beth was helping set the table, smiling sweetly at Severus and even though kids were not his cup of tea, he couldn't resist smiling back. Beth had inherited her mother's deep brown eyes and black hair. But where Nora's was straight and appeared to fall in sheets when she turned her head, Beth's was wavy and seemed to fluidly follow every one of her motions.

_She's a smart kid,_ Severus thought. Then he corrected himself. _Actually, a better description would be that she's inherited the wisdom of the tribe. She gives me looks sometimes that make me feel as if I'm transparent and she can see to the bottom of my soul. _At that, he felt as if something had just walked across his grave and shivered. Not his normal type of reaction, and then he looked at Beth who had watched him silently. Unexpectedly she launched herself at him and said, "Sev? Can we go outside and play panta with the boys?" He picked her up and carried her to the porch in his usual careful, dignified manner. The boys raced to the steps and stopped there, panting from all their running around, wondering what their little sister was doing with the man they alternately looked up to and laughed about. After all, they were in awe of his transformed shape, but they had no respect for his awkward ways and were driving him to distraction often enough with their teasing.

He let Beth down, expecting a further demand to play with her, but she was already off, chasing her brothers, laughing happily, all child again. Severus went to sit down again when Irene called everyone in to eat and, completely unselfconscious, licked his hand and wiped his face and hair with it. Every single person in the room went still, holding a collective breath, watching him silently. "So, how… "Severus' question came to an abrupt halt as he noticed the looks. He frantically rewound the few previous seconds, only to realise in the space of one millisecond what he had done. His mind raced from abject humiliation to the intense desire to just run away and never return and finally ended its frazzled efforts in a cough that turned into a chuckle... and dissolved in laughter that left him breathless, eyes tearing and soon the whole table followed his example. Even as she laughed, Irene felt a profound relief. She could only sense how much this had cost him and considered it another hurdle crossed in his healing from Tobias' wounds. The day faded into a comfortable quiet where they all felt how much they had shared and the bond that had drawn Severus into the tribe had drawn him closer still.

_**Charlie Swan was sitting at his desk even after the nightshift had come on duty, lost in thought. He knew he should get himself together but something was bothering him and at home he wouldn't have a chance to think through it undistracted. Something about his family bothered him but he wasn't quite sure what precisely that something was. Yet. He would figure it out, he promised himself. With a tired sigh he turned off his computer, grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and walked out the door into Forks' fresh night air. The rain had washed everything clean and to Charlie it seemed as if every living being located in his town was taking advantage of that – he met whole families out for evening walks which made him smile and forget about his worries as he got into his car.**_

_**The moment he parked in front of his house, his daughter came running down the steps. "Dad, can we go camping this weekend? Can we? Please! Angela and Jessica and their parents are going too!" Bella enthusiastically hugged him and her look would shame every cute begging puppy in existence. Charlie hated camping. But he hated disappointing his one and only daughter even more. Since he knew better than to foist an unplanned camping trip on Renee though, he answered, "Bells, I'll have to talk it over with your Mom or we'll really be in trouble before the weekend even starts." Her smile turned into a half annoyed, half understanding grimace and he laughed. "Come on, what's for supper? I'm about to fall down and starve right here on the stairs," Charlie groaned and climbed said stairs with Bella dragging him most of the way. By the time they arrived in the kitchen, both were laughing. He went to embrace Renee who gave him a quick kiss and told him to wash as supper was ready to be served. As they ate, Bella did her level best to convince her parents that a camping trip to La Push was just what they needed that weekend. The looks passing between Charlie and Renee would have told her how enthusiastic they were about such an outing (NOT), but Bella was too busy eating and talking at almost the same time to notice any of their silent exchange. Bella's trump card was that she'd run across Billy Black and Jacob on her way home and they'd agreed to come to the campground too if she could convince her parents to come. That was the last straw for Charlie – it held the promise of early morning fishing with his best friend, after all. For Renee it worked the other way. Camping AND rising early? Not even untamed equines could force her to accompany them now. Out loud she said she'd think about it, but her mind was made up. **__A chance to spend more time with Carlisle, __**she thought to herself and smiled, which Bella falsely interpreted as a hopeful sign. She voluntarily cleared the table and got ready for bed without having to be reminded. She hated actually going to bed without knowing what her parents had decided, but she wasn't given a choice. Both hugged her and kissed her goodnight and then she was left to make her own way to dreamland. She drifted off to the sounds of the TV running and her parents softly talking. She smiled as sleep claimed her.**_


	8. Summer School continued

Summer school – continued

_Opening quote_

_Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.__  
__Russell Baker_

_**As Charlie and Bella drove towards La Push, she was singing along with the radio. Not quite in tune, but Charlie was too distracted once more to complain. **__So what was it REALLY that had kept Renee home this time, __**he mused, doing his level best to keep his thoughts off his face in order not to worry his daughter. **__Had she really hated the thought of camping so much, or had she had other plans. I should have asked the neighbors to keep an eye on the car. __**He berated himself silently, **__and you want to be a cop? Sure thing. Make that one tough old forgetful cop.__** Sometimes he really felt ancient. Even some wannabe PI could do better than that. Then he realised Bella had gone quiet. „What is it, punkin?" he asked her. She looked at him, raised her eyebrow and said, „Dad, is this.. like.. supposed to be a test or something? The turnoff for the La Push camping grounds was back there…" Charlie looked around and realised she was right. **__Shit. Can't even think straight enough to not embarass myself in front of my ten-year-old. What's the world come to? __**„Oh.. er.. yes, a test, Bells. Just wanted to make sure you kept track of where we're going too," Charlie tried to rectify the situation. „Guess that means I passed, huh?" „You sure did, punkin, you sure did" **__Gosh, he was lucky to have her look forward to her friends and camping so much that she'd overlooked his oversight without batting an eye._

_**When they arrived at the parking lot, Bella was out of the car in the blink of an eye, determined to find her friends and hang out with them, leaving Charlie plus tent and the trimmings in her wake. He shook his head and laughed. So much for a healthy sense of normality. He'd spoiled her, no doubt. After a few treks back and forth, Charlie started setting up their tent. It was another uncommonly warm day for this area and he was sweating by the time he was finished. He stored their food safely, hanging a smell-proof container in a tree a few meters from the tent, and went to cool hands and feet in the sea. He met Bella, her friends and the other two fathers down by the water and they exchanged friendly greetings. As the adults chatted, it turned out that all three girls had basically used the same method to convince their respective parents. However, Charlie was the only one who ended up **_**sans**_** wife. For their lunch the Swans had sandwiches, sent along by Renee, and they ended up sharing them with the rest as she tended to attempt to feed an army instead of two. As the afternoon turned into evening, the men built a fireplace and the girls collected dry wood for a barbecue. When the first stars showed, Billy arrived, Jacob and Dale tagging along. Charlie introduced them to the other two families and soon enough the boys were off to build their own fire to impress the girls. After they'd all shared their potluck of sorts, the children returned to their smaller fire with their sleeping bags and proceeded to tell ghost and other scary stories. Jacob took the prize with some ancient Quileute legends. Bella was so impressed with them that she woke Charlie with her scared scream caused by a particularly impressive nightmare containing huge wolves and scary looking utterly white-skinned gleaming humans who chased her at great speed. **__Human?__** She thought after she woke up in the morning at last. **__Were they really?_

Severus had come to love his bedroom with a view of the stars. He'd lie there and let his mind drift, and he found that there he felt secure enough to think of Lily without pain. He even found himself hoping she was happy and the thought made him doze off with a smile. His sleep was deep and he tended not to remember his dreams. He considered that an unexpected bonus of the new life he was creating for himself.

He also thought of his current state as as close to happy as he had ever been before. For the first time in his life, family actually meant a group of people he.. loved.. he realised with a pang. _Love? Was it truly possible? _He sat in his bed in the dark of night, thinking hard. _He.. loved. Without reservations. _And then fear followed, on soft paws, sneaking into his every thought, chilling him to the center of his heart. _What if he lost Irene? Billy? Nora, the children? How would he ever be able to live with himself after that?? _He rushed out of bed, stumbling over the sheets, nearly falling, and ran to his desk. He forgot about the lamp, muttering "Lumos!" impatiently as he grabbed his wand from underneath some children's drawings Beth had given him the other day. He swept everything off the desk, pulled some blank paper out of the drawer and began planning his strategy to keep those he loved safe. Of course he started with the potions he could slip into their drinks to protect them from poison attacks or sleeping potions. Then he listed the spells he would need to speak to keep their homes safe. He considered testing the children for magical ability. He doubted that the system in the US was as sophisticated as the one set up in the UK to register every wizard or witch that was born. He also realised he didn't even know what and where Hogwarts' equivalent was located. This country was just too large. He shook his head. No, he'd have to do without magical help from children. He just needed to keep them safe with the means at his disposal.

When someone knocked on his door, he flinched and aimed his wand at the door. In his Potion Master tone he asked who wanted something at this hour of night, suddenly sounding like his haughty old self. In the split second before a familiar voice answered, it occurred to him that he didn't like the way that felt – and sounded.

It was Irene's voice and he could hear the concern in her voice. _Concern he'd probably put there_, he thought. "Is everything ok, Severus?" she asked when he opened the door to admit her. He sighed and said, "yes and no, Irene," knowing he wouldn't manage to hide a thing from her ultimately. So he explained what had made him frantically run from bed to desk and laid out his plans to her.

Pragmatically, Irene looked over his lists, smiling proudly at her grandson for getting down to the practical side without delay. She pointed out a few flaws to him but didn't criticize him for thinking of such protective measures in the first place. He was grateful to her and it reassured him to have her on his side. When they were both satisfied with the new and improved version, she gently laid her hand on his and said, "Severus, I know that a lot of this is a first for you. Especially your sudden realisation that you treasure us and vice versa. But if you allow your fear of losing any of us to overshadow the joy, then that fear will have won, and it will weaken you. Allow love to reign instead. It's much stronger than fear, and even stronger than death, if you allow it to be.

Now it's time for this old woman to stop gallivanting about in the middle of the night. Good night, dear. Try to get some sleep now." He accompanied her to her door and kissed her goodnight. As he climbed the stairs once more, he thought of the future. Of those aspects he was sure of, as things stood now, and he smiled again. What sense would it make after all, to attempt to cross bridges he hadn't come to yet? He would cross them, one after the other, all in good time. For now it was only time to cross the bridge to the land of dreams.


	9. Interlude III

_**Interlude III**_

_Opening quote_

_A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.__  
__Francis Bacon_

_**Renee waved goodbye to Bella and Charlie as they drove off to their hopefully happy weekend trip. She'd never really enjoyed La Push, and Nora was just too quiet for her taste. She remembered feeling like a gagged doll after weekend visits at the Blacks. Oh, they were fun, but they were just too straightlaced for Renee. Carlisle understood that bit of a dark streak in her. It perfectly complemented his own.**_

_**This weekend was bad timing as far as he was concerned. Renee had begun noticing the changes in the color of his eyes but he'd put off explaining them to her so far. Until today. Tonight he would have no choice anymore and he wasn't sure whether to dread the ensuing conversation or finally have it out of the way at last. Maybe a bit of both.**_

_**Renee hadn't even made it to the livingroom when Carlisle silently came in the backdoor. Even though she was used to his soft and silent movements by now, they didn't cease to catch her unawares. He left her no time to be startled though, just took her in his arms and kissed her. Deeply and passionately, making her catch her breath when he let her go. „Sit with me, Renee. We have to talk about something before we go anywhere," he softly said and she looked at him inquiringly. Then she looked again. She'd never seen his eyes that dark and she also saw he noticed her look. „Yes, that's what I need to explain to you. It's important, Renee," he insisted and she nodded, watching his hands settle on hers, soft as butterflies' feet. „I know you've seen my eyes change. You're so much more observant than the average human. You saw right through me the first time we met, which is why I told you what I am, what my whole family is. You see, there's two kinds of vampires. Those that feed on humans and do not hold human lives in high regard. Their eyes are red, due to the diet they keep, if you will. Then there's those like me and my family who only feed on animals. Our eyes are amber and that's how you can tell us apart. But when we're hungry and need to feed, we're all the same. Our eyes turn black. Stay away from any of us when you see that. ANY of us, including my family, Renee. I mean it." Carlisle's hands held hers tight now and she winced. Immediately he let her go. „This weekend we had planned to drive to Goat Rocks Wilderness to go hunting and your call made me stay behind. I realise now that was a foolish thing to do. All it accomplished was to put you in serious danger. So I think it will be best if I leave now." Renee gave him an incredulous look and reached for his hands once more. „Do you seriously think I could just let you go now?" she asked. „Do you think that once I leave Charlie, and make no mistake about that, I will, that I'll be willing to live in a place away from you for safety's sake? I have no plan to do things halfway, Carlisle. And this, this is part of US. So I suggest you take me along and let me cope with the consequences." He gave her a long measuring look, then he vanished up the stairs and was back before she even reached the foot of the staircase, holding a duffel bag out to her. „Here's what you'll need for the weeekend. Better get ready for a rough ride, Renee. Are you really sure?" She smiled, her eyes clearly displaying her love for him, and nodded. She locked up the house and they left through the backdoor. As soon as they'd entered the forest, Carlisle let her climb on his back and told her to hold on. Renee closed her eyes as he started running, knowing he would keep her safe and being completely unable to ignore her fear and dizziness as the trees sped by.**_


	10. Summer's end

Summer's end

_Opening quote_

_Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.__  
__Gail Godwin_

And so the summer continued, occasionally sunny and mostly overcast and rainy, just the usual in Forks, Washington, US of A. The unusual inhabitants weren't overly bothered by the weather. What they did, and that they did most of it together, counted for far more than the odd cloud. For now, the clouds in the sky were the only ones they saw, and that happy state of things would remain for a few months longer. The figurative clouds on the horizon not even Alice Cullen could detect yet…

Billy and Nora were setting their table for ten. They'd talked it over with Irene and decided it was time Severus' circle of acquaintances was extended a bit before the schoolyear began in earnest. They'd invited the Swan family to eat with them and then go down to the beach so all the children could run and play without disturbing any neighbors. Not that that happened often on the res. Most families had kids and they tended to spend any sunny days outside in groups of varying sizes. Afternoons were never quiet on the reservation.

Charlie, Renee and Bella arrived at 12:30 on the dot, puncutal as usual. Charlie always made sure of that. He was a conscientious police officer and he was in line for a promotion soon. He always insisted on getting to an appointment in time, to Bella and Renee's annoyance who were more the get-there-in-good-time types especially where private dates were concerned.

Bella ran to the shed immediately, calling for Jacob and Dale. She loved playing with the boys, in spite of the age difference. Jacob was only younger by a year which didn't really matter, considering he was already taller than Bella. Dale however was only 6, but running on his older brother's heel had made him far more mature than his age. He loved Bella and adored her like an older sister he didn't have. They had their spats on occasion and one or the other would be excluded, but this never lasted long. If it threatened their group dynamics in any serious manner, Beth would run interference. With her, age just didn't seem to matter. If Beth put her foot down, that was that. She might have been four years old, but if she wanted them to get along, she might have been four hundred just as well. This particular afternoon was one they'd looked forward to for a while. They hadn't seen each other since that camping trip. Bella's father had been strangely unwilling to go on his usual weekend fishing trips with Billy lately and July had dragged on and on, it had appeared to the children.

In the meantime, the adults were getting acquainted. Irene introduced her grandson to Charlie and Renee and Severus greeted them politely. He doubted that he'd make friends in one of these "matchmaker" situations his family set him up with. He didn't make friends easily, and while he felt respect for Charlie Swan, his wife put him on edge for some reason. He was tense all through lunch. The Blacks served dessert outside, strawberry cake, decorated with those sweet forest berries you found in the small clearings around the res, and icecream which he declined. Renee, Nora and Charlie cleared the table, delegating duties to the children as well. Severus sat on the porch with Irene and Billy, Beth on his lap for reasons of her own he didn't even attempt to figure out. Her head on his shoulder, her fingers twirling a strand of his hair she was silent and he felt her relax, as if he made her feel particularly secure. Yet another undercurrent he chose not to pursue. He knew these tiny things would niggle the back of his mind but for now he could ignore them.

Renee blindly carried dishes and glasses from the table to the counter where Charlie washed while Nora dried and put everything away. In that order they made short work of the messy table. As soon as Renee could safely do so, she excused herself and walked out the back door. She sat on the porch steps and tried to breathe, heart beating to her throat. _What was it about this.. what was his name again.. Severus Snape? She'd only met him today but he behaved strangely and smelled weird and she couldn't put her finger on the smell. Wet dog? Did he or Irene have a dog? _She shook her head at herself and went back inside before Charlie came looking for her.

On the beach, they sat around the fireplace the campers had built weeks ago and everyone else had continued to use since. Of course the children were off to their own games without delay. Renee was on the verge of telling Bella to be careful, then decided not to. It would only embarrass her and make her more self-conscious. She was accident-prone enough already. As the afternoon turned into a cool evening, the men lit a fire which Renee watched with fascination. The dried salt made the flames burn blue and she noticed Severus watching with the same awed look. "Must be the salt," he finally said, making Irene and the Blacks chuckle. "I keep forgetting that you didn't grow up here, Sev" Billy noted. "Except for your atrocious accent you fit right in here. Even the hair could pass. Just your complexion is a tad off. But then we're not in California, so even that is negligible. Just that accent of yours, and we'll work on that." Severus gave him a haughty look. "Accent? You mean YOUR accent, Billy, don't you? We have no accent in England. It's where the language originates, after all! You have accents and you can't even spell English properly, for heaven's sake. Fall? It's autumn! And lorry. And K-E-R-B, not C-U-R-B!" Before the discussion went offbase, Irene intervened. "I think that American English has developed differently, quite simply put, Severus. It's like a seed from the original tree that's grown and flourished in a different climate and just as the first tree has a right to exist and prosper, so does its offspring. And look at the diversity of poetry and prose both have given us…" The ensuing literary discussion lasted long past dusk and was conducted in a friendly fashion due to Irene mainly who used her years of teaching experience to keep them all in line. Before they collected the kids, they agreed to get together again and bring a favorite book each, to share and discuss as they'd all enjoyed the topic. Severus considered bringing on of Lockhart's books and turned the subsequent laugh into a choked cough. _They brought out a side of him he hadn't known he'd enjoy so much, _he thought to himself. Humor. So far he'd been only too comfortable with sarcasm, but good old fun had left him cold. Now it warmed him inside out and he smiled. Maybe there were things he could un-learn as time went by. Maybe.

In that vein, August passed and as September began, Severus started spending his days travelling to Forks High in Irene's small car. Of course, he'd considered simply apparating, but he knew that at least in La Push, people tended to be altogether too observant for their own – and his- good. So he drove, using the time to think and mentally prepare for his classes. He'd resolved to remember to give his students homework not defined in parchment rolls or punish them by sending them to the Forbidden Forest. He really needed to be careful to remain undistracted.

Irene took sick very suddenly and as she needed someone to stay with her, Severus missed the first two days of school. By then Nora had come up with a plan that left him free to work and left someone by Irene's side all the time. She'd contracted bronchitis and the doctor was concerned about pneumonia which would have serious consequences at her age. Severus gave Nora a special potion she had to give Irene that complemented the antibiotics the doctor had prescribed. He hoped that she'd be on her feet again soon.

Severus entered the chemistry classroom early to prepare some experiments he wanted to surprise his new students with, to keep them interested in the subject. He was wearing sharply creased grey pants and his favorite dark green shirt with a white lab coat. He'd also tied his longer than usual hair in a neat pony tail collected at the nape of his neck. In the last weeks of the summer, he'd helped Billy and others of the tribe erect a barn and his skin had picked up a bit of a tan. He had thought he'd probably just burn red, peel and return to his usual white teint. But he'd actually tanned. And had no sunburn either. The latter was probably due to Irene's insistence on strong sunguard though. His musings were interrupted by the first students silently filing into the room. As they sat, way in the back, they started talking again. He gave them a look, raised an eyebrow and motioned them to the front. With exasperated sighs they moved their bags to the front and resumed chatting while more teens arrived and got seated. 19 altogether, he noted and consulted his list. Hmmm… Three more were missing. Precisely with the ding of the bell, the door opened and said missing students walked in. Unhurried, they sat down and gave him their undivided attention. They could have been relations of his if their teint was any indication. Also, it occurred to Severus that they had moved with a grace unusual for their age group. As if in response to his thoughts, one of the boys smiled. Severus immediately closed his mind, tuned to such responses from times he'd rather forget. The boy looked annoyed but then smoothed his features as if nothing had happened. Severus kept an eye on him and the other two while he went through the roll call to acquaint himself with names and faces. _Cullen, he'd have to remember that. _It made sense suddenly as he recalled what Irene had told him about their family. He wondered if they knew who he was. It put him in a good mood and that's how his chemistry class started. To his surprise he enjoyed this non-magical equivalent of Potions far more than he'd anticipated and due to that, so did his students. That was a first at Forks High…

"Severus!" Alicia called, just as he was about to leave the building. _He should have cleared the chem lab tomorrow after all, _he thought with a sigh. He'd looked forward to spending a quiet evening with Irene, then prepare the pop quiz for tomorrow and get an early night for once. Instead he faced a meeting with the principal. The thought crossed his mind that he spent more times at the principal's office now than he had as a student, and he chuckled as he turned to speak to Alicia. She tentatively returned his involuntary smile. "Severus, I hate bugging you about this but you HAVE TO host a parent teacher evening so they can get to know you a little. You can do it at the diner, they're used to letting our teachers have their separate room for the odd evening. It should be enough if you call them 2 or 3 days ahead and make reservations." He nodded in acquiescence and wished her a nice evening. When he turned to leave, he sorely missed his robes. Flouncing out of the school would have just felt so much better right now. Once more he couldn't help the tiny chuckle escaping him.

As the evening of the parent teacher meet came around, he checked off his mental list. _Invitations sent. RSVPs received. Almost all the parents were coming. The diner had agreed to serve refreshments. Alicia would be there to kick the meeting off. _Then he sighed. _No such meetings at Hogwarts. This felt like an invasion of his privacy. _He drove to the diner and sat by himself in the still empty room. He ordered lemonade and tried to prepare for possible questions. Dumbledore's CV was foolproof. And yet. He'd have to try to remember the right version, at least under the intense scrutiny of parents conceivably out to find fault with their children's teacher. The next person to enter the room was Alicia. They greeted each other and made smalltalk until the parents began arriving and subsequently split up to talk to them separately until the meeting started.

At 8 p.m. Alicia introduced Severus officially and gave the parents a basic rundown of his CV, then she graciously bowed out and left. He asked the parents to introduce themselves and tell him which child of theirs he was teaching. About halfway through Webers, Newtons and Carmichaels, he suddenly realised which name he would hear next. And the pale beautiful lady seated almost directly across from him proved him right. "Esmé Cullen, and my niece and nephews are in your class, Mr. Snape. They seem to really appreciate your hands-on approach to chemistry. And so do I. Heaven knows teens' attention spans are about as long as a toddler's and yet you manage to capture theirs." As soon as she had finished speaking, the whole room applauded and Severus found himself at a loss. So he thanked everyone and asked for quiet for the rest of the introductions that he patiently listened to.

It took until 10:20 p.m. for everyone's curiousity about his origins, teaching experience and accent to subside and another 10 minutes until the parents had all paid up and left. Severus sighed in relief and left the diner too. He walked out the door and breathed deeply. _Finally, fresh air. Finally, alone again. _he thought – just as he realised he wasn't alone. Not quite. "Miz Cullen," he said in surprise. "Is there anything you still need tonight?" As soon as the words had left his lips, he wished he could take them back. They sounded off base, even to him, and he felt his face flushing. Esmé Cullen laughed, the sound light and airy, perfectly suited to the calm September evening. "I just wanted to thank you again, Mr. Snape," she said, overlooking any Freudian lapse he had made. "I do however have one question for you. My nephew mentioned something that caught my interest. He said you read him like an open book and I wondered what else you.. shall we say… read in him?!" Her look had evolved from friendly and open to that of a sharp-eyed eagle honing in on its prey. Severus first thought was that at that moment he had no wish to meet her in a dark alley. He collected himself and looked straight at her when he said, "I know what you are. You and your family. As I have a vested interest in all of you keeping my secret as well, you need not be concerned about my awareness. Does that answer your question to your satisfaction?" Once again, her look changed and she nodded. Now she was just another parent again. But he couldn't forget that dark streak, that face of a predator she had shown him the length of a glimpse into her soul. It didn't dismay him, he knew. It spoke to the panther's core instead. _Weren't they supposed to be enemies of sorts? Wasn't he supposed to be disgusted? _His mind was in turmoil as he said goodnight and drove home.


	11. Clouds on the horizon

Clouds on the horizon

_Opening quote_

_I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.__  
__J. Robert Oppenheimer_

Six months earlier

Tom Riddle had always sought after power, in one form or another. As a child he'd discovered magic. In the orphanage he'd started using it ruthlessly and that attitude had never changed, only intensified as he grew more skilled in its use. Then the point came when Tom Marvolo Riddle turned into Lord Voldemort and all that really kept him from realising his full potential was an obscure prophecy that Snape had told him about. Snape. That elusive Potions Master who had seemingly escaped his grasp. No one ever escaped Lord Voldemort. No one. Snape would find that to be true for himself as well. It wouldn't take much longer to find a way to get on his track and then it wouldn't matter where he had run to…

**A few hundred miles southeast of the Dark Lord's musings, a meeting of minds took place as well. Dimitri and Jane had just finished the last of the tourists Heidi had lured into the top of the Volterra tower. They shared a satisfied smile and left the bloodless corpse for the human servants to dispose of. As they walked off arm in arm, they talked about the series of "concerts" they had planned in order to facilitate the vampire feast the Volturi held every ten years. Vampires came from near and far to participate in this event – provided they had an invitation. This time, they had sent a coven invite to the Cullens. Aro, Caius and Marcus thought this had been a hilarious idea. They knew that the Cullens would decline. After all, they were "vegetarians" among their kind. Aro still couldn't grasp the voluntary abstinence from human blood. There was nothing that tasted as delicious, in his opinion. His mouth watered at the thought. But then, he also knew that Carlisle Cullen had never even tried to drink human blood and that astonished him even more.**

**Jane wondered if Aro would permit her to find out how long Carlisle would last under her skillful form of torture before he began begging to die. After all, he had broken their highest law. What was it about this human woman that kept him from feasting on her? She was puzzled to some extent, but not overly concerned. Aro would determine what Carlisle's punishment would ultimately be and the woman… the woman would be hers.**

**The other issue was this strange newcomer. Aro hadn't decided yet what was to be done about him. He had appeared almost out of nowhere. One of the Nomads had dutifully informed the Guard and they had passed it on to Aro. Apparently he was part of the Quileute tribe, despite the fact that he had never lived there before. This would have to be explored in detail. She decided to suggest to Aro to send a research party to find out all they could. Preferably without alerting anyone to their presence. Then they could decide what to do. All in good time.**

Bellatrix Lestrange felt honored to be called to the Dark Lord's side. When she walked down the street leading to Malfoy Manor, she held her head high and the arrogant smile on her face deterred any of the beggars from approaching her. The gate opened for her and closed as soon as she'd crossed into the grounds. Quickly she made her way to the door. She knew the Dark Lord did not like to be kept waiting. Bellatrix wondered what it was he wanted her to do that required such secrecy and speed. After all, they were winning, nearly all of the ministry was theirs already and they could operate in the open, even among the Muggles. There was nothing that stood in their way any longer. Well, almost. They had yet to deal with Dumbledore but once he was taken care of – her smile turned vicious at that thought – Hogwarts would be theirs too and the students could be properly educated.

It didn't take long for her to understand the nature of her assignment. She smiled as she apparated to Diagon Alley. How convenient that Ollivander's wand shop was next to his sister's "Witches and Wizards Abroad". What a silly Muggle notion, this storing of one's goods on a stranger's property. Bellatrix shook her head as she entered the wand shop, completely ignoring the suddenly pale parents who quickly ushered their child out, keeping their eyes cast down while shushing their confused boy. Mr. Ollivander shot back to the counter with a wand held out to the prospective customer – encountering Bellatrix Lestrange instead made him drop the wand. His lively eyes became still as he politely asked her how he could be of service. "Come," Bellatrix imperiously waved her hand and left the shop with swishing robes. Mr. Ollivander followed her, his stoop getting more pronounced with every step especially when he realised where they were headed. He wished he could warn his sister.

Apparently she had seen who would visit her already and the shop was empty. Bellatrix took out her wand and with a quick motion and a softly spoken curse, Mr. Ollivander was on the floor screaming in agony. On the street outside people hurried by, averting their faces, their only rational thought being gratefulness it wasn't them. It didn't take long for Miss Ollivander to rush back when she heard her brother's screams. She fell to her knees at his side and begged Bellatrix to stop. Of course, that would have been far too easy to satisfy Bellatrix' craving for someone else's pain and she forced Miss Ollivander to retrieve that coward Snape's belongings while her brother's screams subsided to hoarse groans that were somehow even more terrifying than his screams had been. As soon as she hurried down the street to give her Dark Master what he'd asked for, Mister Ollivander's body stopped writhing. When his sister rushed to his side, she feared she would only find an empty shell left there.

But Mr. Ollivander was tougher than he looked and even though she had to support him all the way to their apartment above his shop, his mind seemed unaffected by his ordeal. He ordered her to pack their things and they left through the "Leaky Cauldron", carrying only their usual things and looking only slightly the worse for wear. When the Knight Bus arrived, they got on, paid their fare and sat silently until they arrived at a small village. They watched the Bus take off again and then apparated to yet another village where they separated and apparated twice more, to finally meet again in Dover. They took the ferry to Oostende and the train to Brussels where they used false passports to buy tickets to some obscure Caribbean island that would keep them safe. For a while. They had friends there who were not afraid to stand up to the Dark Lord. Sometimes magic older than anything Voldemort was familiar with had its advantages. And Voodoo was far older than Tom Riddle. Mr. Ollivander smiled at the thought of those two powers meeting and hedged his bets on the outcome as he and his sister fastened their seatbelts on the plane…


	12. Falling

A/N: Review, people, review!

Falling…

_Opening quote_

_Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.__  
__Mae West_

The black panther raced through the forest. _Freedom, _he thought, and he didn't even have to exert himself to reach a speed that effortlessly seemed to eat mile after mile. He finally stopped at a small creek and greedily drank its cold water. Refreshed, he phased and spoke the spell that returned his clothes to him from the medallion he wore around his neck. Severus had enchanted it to hold them and his wand, and the necklace accomodated his neck in any of his shapes. _Much better than tying my clothes to my leg and getting them wet and dirty on the run, _he thought with a smirk. He'd have to find a way to make this work for the rest of the tribe too.

Severus had grown to love weekends. He used Friday afternoons and nights to grade papers and prepare next week's classes and the weekends were spent with Irene – he took her to the store to do their shopping and then they'd eat brunch together on Saturdays. After supper on Saturday night he'd phase and run all the way around the border to the Cullen land and farther around the edges of town. Due to his coloring he was perfectly camouflaged and even if he encountered any human hunters or cops, they never even saw a whisker of his before he was out of their sight again. As long as it there wasn't too much snow to make it too uncomfortable and wet, he spent the nights outside. Sometimes he phased and lit a fire with his wand, other times he remained in his panther shape. He'd found it gave him a rather unique perspective at times. Sunday morning had him trail another watchful round around his tribe's territory. _**His tribe, **_he thought possessively. It felt good to belong. And he truly did belong here. To his surprise he'd found a semblance of happiness and even the thought of Lily did not mar this feeling. Some part of him wondered how she was doing and what was happening in his home country, but somehow it didn't appear all that relevant at this moment in time. Not like he could return and defeat Voldemort. Even though, the thought of what the Dark Lord would say if Severus phased before his eyes made him chuckle.. or rather.. growl with amusement.

Esmé was worried about Carlisle and Renee. She knew that something would have to give eventually. She could only hope it wouldn't break Carlisle's heart. She doubted that she or their family were equipped to deal with it if he went to pieces, even if only figuratively. She decided a good long hike would help her compartmentalise and ignore her anxiety a while longer. She dressed in worn jeans, an old blouse that had seen better days and walked out the door at a steady pace, with no particular destination in mind. She'd give Alice a headache at this rate… her pealing laughter chased a few birds from their places of rest. Soon she tired of her slow progress and started running. The forest flitted by faster and faster as Esmé ran. She enjoyed the cool fresh air and raced a couple of deer who frantically tried to escape from the predator she was for them. As she hadn't planned to snack just then, she let them go eventually and changed course. For a while she ran along the Quileute border, turning south eventually to circle around Forks and return at the edges of town where she wouldn't be seen. It wouldn't do to let the good folks of Forks, her customers among them, see the neat little accountant in torn clothes with wild hair and no make-up, would it?! She couldn't hold back the laughter bubbling up and stopped to enjoy the view. The tall trees didn't let much sunlight reach the forest floor. To her, the shadows weren't dark at all. She found a small clearing and lay in the last of the sunny rays brightening it. Her skin glittered in the light and the reflections skittered across the treeline as she watched them and drank in the warmth.

Severus phased back once more, reassured that no stray vampire wandered around on his watch and that the Cullens had – predictively, but still – stayed on their side of the borderline. Nothing to worry about. He could lope home at a sedate pace. _Maybe one more leap around, purely for the fun of it? _The little voice inside him coaxed and he acquiesced and started running. He loved it, he had to admit to himself, if to no one else. He was more fit than he had been in years, he had a tan, for Salazar's sake! And his hair was smooth and clean. He wondered how he'd ever been capable of enjoying teaching in the darkness of the Dungeons. He shook his head and decided it was time to head home for a shower and some quality time with Irene.

As he turned around, a scent caught his attention. He knew he'd smelled it once before. _But.. when? And where?_ He sniffed the air once more and a slight breeze showed him the way. He followed it, until a soft voice interrupted his concentration. _Singing? What on earth?_ He listened as the song soothed his case of nerves and silently walked around the edge of the clearing. The voice rang a bell, no, it touched a chord in him and he was familiar with it. But the knowledge eluded him, driven away by the notes floating around him, drawing him closer still. He shook his head, trying to clear it but to no avail. Finally, he chose to phase, clumsily due to the distraction of the music… to find himself face to face with a snarling vampire and his attempt at a growl turned into a suffocating cough when he realised that he was standing in bright sunlight in a clearing in the middle of nowhere, nose to nose with Esmé Cullen.

Esmé quickly averted her eyes. Mostly for his sake as she found what she saw quite appealing. No tan lines, her brain registered before she did her level best not to think about this interesting fact. "Fancy meeting you here," she said politely, both snarl and smile turned into cool composure. Going by the sounds she heard it was safe to face him again. Contrary to her, Severus could not wipe the flush off his face so quickly. _Did it have to be her he had to run into? Of all the people living in Forks and on the res? _He couldn't even accuse her of crossing the border to the land of the reservation. She was off both territories and he wondered why. But he couldn't even open his mouth to be equally polite, not to mention interrogate her. After a deep breath he turned to Esmé and said, "Never know who you'll run across in this neck of the woods, do you?!" She nodded in agreement, even as she wondered how he had managed to dress at the same speed as a vampire. Her gaze fell on the medallion around his neck. Her hand reached for it of its own accord and she just managed to hold back when she saw his eyebrow raise. "Would you elaborate please, Mr. Snape? And I have another question too…" she asked, taking a step back to give him space. Severus argued with himself for a moment before he decided to trust her. After all, she knew he would never betray her secret either. Not hers and not her family's. "Call me Severus, please. I see no point in this formality now. What do you know about me? The sole reason I ask is that I would hate to waste time with needless repitition." "I'm Esmé, Severus, and all I know about you is your name, that you're some relation of the Black family and that you arrived from Great Britain a few months ago. I have no idea about the shape you shift to or where your clothes came from just now. And that's something I'd really like to know. Even though you look pretty good to me without them too. Sorry. The last bit was probably over the top. You.. unsettle me somehow, and believe me, that rarely happens." For some reason, this evoked a smile from Severus' serious face. "Shall we sit down somewhere? I know standing won't tire you, but I'm human, mostly anyway, and after a long run that I started yesterday already, I could do with some rest now while I explain." "The clearing would be suitable, Severus. But consider yourself duly warned. My skin reacts with the light. See for yourself." Esmé walked forward into the light once more and he watched her face and arms turn into a million glittering diamonds. _How could anyone be allowed to be so heartbreakingly beautiful?_ "A dead giveaway, isn't it?! Now you know yet another reason why we take the kids out of school on very sunny days. We can't afford to reveal our nature if we want to live here," she softly said.

When they had sat down on the mossy ground, Severus proceeded to explain the world he'd left behind. He told her about wizards, witches, Hogwarts and Voldemort. At some point, he mentioned Lily and her husband and Esmé saw the short flicker of pain cross his features. She almost reached for his hand, but kept still in order not to interrupt him. His story fascinated her. She wanted to know all of it, Diagon Alley, Gringotts, Dumbledore, house elves, hippogryphs and Muggles. She wondered if she and her kind would count as Muggles too, or if they would be considered a different species like werewolves or giants. She'd never given much thought to definitions like that. Her family was simply that and all she concerned herself with was making sure their existence was safe and secure. Now her horizon had been extended so much farther. Impulsively she touched Severus' arm. "Show me one of your spells, would you please?" she asked, her dark eyes bright at the prospect. _She looked like a little girl the day before her birthday, _he couldn't help thinking and nodded. He stood, took out his wand and pointed it at a tree across the clearing. "Bombarda", he quietly spoke and watched her flinch a tiny bit as the tree exploded into a zillion splinters. "I'm glad we're not on opposite sides, Severus. Your skills match ours pretty evenly. I wonder how one of your spells would directly affect us…" Esmé mused.

They talked until the sun faded and then, as it set, she turned her back and when he'd phased, they ran towards the border, well matched in speed and graceful motion.

When they reached it, Esmé leaned down to caress the back of the panther's head. "Thank you, Severus. You've given me an unexpected gift and new perspectives. Tomorrow I need to hunt – would you care to join me, late afternoon maybe?" The Panther pushed his head into her hand and growled, nodding his head before he took off running. He'd used his talent as a Legilimens and seen the attraction he felt reciprocated in her mind. He made his way home quickly. He needed to think and weigh the consequences of telling a vampire about his origins. An attractive, appealing, intelligent vampire to boot. Then he would decide what to do about tomorrow. A good night's sleep should help too. He wondered about her scent. Billy had always turned up his nose even at the thought of the supposedly sickly smell that vampires supposedly were surrounded by.

His stomach's rumblings interrupted his thoughts. He was ravenous, he realised. Maybe Irene would have some leftovers, in spite of the fact that he'd neglected her this weekend. Also, it had always helped him to talk things over with her. Not far from the house he phased, dressed and went to knock on Irene's door.


	13. Circle of Life

As she ran next to the sleek black panther, she suddenly started laughing and when she couldn't focus on the trees in her way anymore , she stopped, bent over and just went on laughing. She hadn't been this happy in years, she realised. The panther brushed against her gently, his look questioning and she knew he respected her privacy and wouldn't simply intrude on her mind. She also knew she wouldn't even notice if he did. But... she trusted him. Odd really, after so many years of carefully distancing herself from people outside her immediate family.

His brush on her mind went unnoticed but it alleviated his worry. He wondered if vampires could be affected by mental diseases like anyone else. Would their unique disposition intensify the disease? He shook himself. What he had seen of Esme's mind reassured him. She would not go mad any time soon. He admitted to himself that he wanted her company more than anyone else's and that she filled a place in him he hadn't allowed himself to even see. He wondered if all this family business had made him soft. He laughed when he considered what his Hogwarts students would say if they saw him now. Courting a vampire of all people. Professor Snape and a vampire. He'd get laughed out of class. Not to mention the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes - he could just see it...

Esme finally recovered and caressed her companion's soft fur, then took off running again. She wondered if she had imagined the soft purr and shook her head. Maybe she was going off the deep end now. Severus and a purr? NO way on earth.

Soon they reached the vampires' hunting ground and Esme nodded to the panther. On soft feet and paws they proceeded, both noses lifted to the wind that carried scents to them. _Cougar,_ Severus thought. _Too small to be any danger._ Esme closed her eyes as the scent of a herd of elk made her mouth water, and she took off. Severus followed her and watched as she took the largest bull down without a hitch, not a spot of blood on her clothes as she drained the animal. When she tossed the carcass aside, he growled and tore a chunk of flesh out of its side. He considered turning vegetarian for a moment, but then, being a carnivore definitely had its advantages if he considered the form he took as a shapeshifter. He could easily survive on a diet like this for extended periods of time, with no one the wiser. When both of them had had their fill, Esme built a pyre and took care of the dead animals. Better to make it look like a campfire gone out of control than some hunter getting concerned about predators in these woods. She made sure no spark would set the forest on fire, and then they ran back the way they had come.

In the clearing where they had come across each other a few days ago, Severus shifted back and they lit a fire that kept him warm. They sat and watched the flames for a long time. Neither felt the need to fill the silence and slowly, quite unaware of it, they inched closer to one another. At last, Severus very quietly spoke. "You know, I talked to Irene the other day, after our.. unexpected encounter... here." "You did? What was the conversation about?" Esme asked with curiousity. "Well, I needed a sounding board," Severus felt as if his cheeks were on fire as he continued, "to help me figure out if it was too off base to.. be interested... in a certain vampire lady." Whatever Esme had been planning to ask next was cut short when she turned to look at him and he reached down to push a twig closer to the center of the flames. When he sat up again, she very slowly leaned in and ever so gently kissed him. Severus made no move away, only the reaction of his lips told her he enjoyed that first kiss as much as she did. For another hour they silently sat in front of the fire, only their hands occasionally touching.

Severus was lost in his thoughts when it suddenly occurred to him that he should have trained with Billy today. He reached for the medallion, tapped it lightly with his wand, softly spoke "Carpediem," and when it glowed for a moment, returned it to its original place. Esme raised her eyebrow in question and he said, "It's 11:23 pm. I had better head back before Irene sends out a search party." "Oh, so that's your pocket watch?" Her face wore an amused grin that he nearly missed as he stood up and brushed himself off. Severus was just about to ask her to turn around so he could phase, when Esme said, "let me take you back to Irene, just this once." She held out her hand and he took it. He could not suppress the slight gasp when she swung him onto her back and firmly gripped his legs, telling him to hold on tight. When he hesitated to put his arms firmly around her throat, she started laughing. "Think you have any chance at strangling me accidentally? Even intentionally, I'd say you'd be hard put - without magic that is." She smirked and started running, feeling his arms tighten fast and strongly enough to defeat any human. It took her a matter of minutes to deposit him on the beach. After all, she could hardly cross the boundary to Irene's house without starting major trouble. She mentally reminded herself to talk about a solution to this with Carlisle soon. Things needed to change.

Esme stood on the beach with Severus to say goodnight. But then, it wasn't so much what was said, but what they left unsaid as they kissed. Gently at first, but with growing passion and it was Esme who broke the last embrace, taking a step back while holding his hands. She laughed, happily, leaned over to give the wizard one last peck on the cheek and took off running.


End file.
